Chasing false hope
by AlwaysTheBestFriend
Summary: Quinlove. Quincest. TnS fanfic. This is a quinlove dabble from when they where younger it's not related. Sara Quin is in love with "straight girl" Tegan clement. It's based on a true story from my life I hope you like it.
1. Chapter 1

SARA POV  
I sat in my bed thinking about final moving out of my over crowed house. I was moving into my dorm room today my mum walks in "honey are you almost ready we are leaving in half an hour" ever though she new I had been pack and ready for weeks. I was moving in with a girl I had been in love with for years, but I had only ever seen her date guys and all she talked about was a boy for her church that she had alway had the biggest crush on they never really dated but they had a weird thing between them she would always tell me how he would kiss her some nights and I can't say it didn't hurt.  
I was final dressed and ready to leave my mother drove me the two and a half hours to took to get there I told her she didn't have to but I knew it was her way of saying good bye. When we got there I saw Tegan she ran and wrapped her arms around me I mean I knew it was because I hadn't seen her in almost a month and we were really close "friends" or that's all she would ever see me as. I didn't want the hug to end but she slowly pulled way. "When did you get here? Are you already set up?" I counting to quiz her "yesterday and of course". We said our good byes to my mum who didn't want to leave. She help me set up my thing I didn't have many clothes but my stacks and stacks of CDs and band posters seemed to fill the room nicely. When we were done She gave me the gummy smile she always did when she was really happy and I kisses her on the cheek in thanks. She flashed a bright red but as soon as it was there it was gone. "Do you wanna watch a movie" I didn't bring many but I did have a thing for scary movies and while I knew Tegan scared easily I agreed the thought of holding her ever if it was in a 'just friends' way was enough for me.  
She picked one and put it on sit next to me on my bed. It wasn't long before she was in my lap "why are you making me watch this" she whined "you picked it remember. We don't have to watch it" "no no I want to" I know she is trying to seem tuff but I switch it off any way "we can just talk I haven't seen you in forever" that's what it felt like anyway. She grinned "ok so truth or dare" I roll my eyes "truth" "ok so do you like anyone" the smirk that ran across my face looking down I quickly shock my head I mean I wasn't lying I didn't like someone I was in love with someone that would never love me back "Lier come on what's her name" she had alway been ok with me being gay Even with her church back ground her dads the paster of a church. She was staying at my house when I came out to her I was crying because I was so scared that every one would hate me all she said was that she still loved me and everyone else would to and held me till I fell asleep in her arms. I will never forgot what she did for me that night and it was the night I realised I truly had strong felling for her.  
"Come... On please tell me what's her name" shyly shake me head "I can't tell you but she is absolutely gorgeous" she flashed her gummy smile at me and nodes "well I'm sure you'll get her, you always get any girl you want" I half smile if only she knew how wrong she was.


	2. Chapter 2

TEGAN POV  
I was so happy when Sara got here I wrapped my arms around her neck taking in the sent of her shampoo. I've alway had a crush on Sara but she always was so confidant around girls I always felt intimidated. she had been with quit few girls but she never settle into a committed relationship which I'm happy about because of course I want her to be mine. When I asked her if she want to watch a scary movie I just wanted an excuse for her to hold me it was to sweet when she turn it of because she knew I was scared. God Sara is so beautiful and amazing she was small but shapely her short brown hair that sweep to one side was so sexy on her, she was always sweet to me to everyone she did her best to make sure every was happy and felt loved. It was because she had always been so broken and didn't ever want anyone to feel the way she had, but I wanted to be the person to fix her the scars that laced her arms and thighs hid a much deeper pain and I wanted to be the bandaid, the glue that held her pieces together. Then I remembered where I was "Tegan you still with me hello" I have here my gummy smile "yeah sorry I was just think about..." A huge grin cam across her face "so tell me what's his name" how did she know I was think about someone well I mean no just someone I was thinking about Sara but I couldn't tell here that she just told me she really like someone even if she wouldn't tell me who it was I knew she had a good reason because she normal told me every thing. Oh well I may as well at least tell her I'm gay I might be the one she like and she is just to scared to tell me because she thinks I'm 'straight' no I'm the one but here goes nothing anyway "well I'm not going to tell you her name but she has curves for days and she is so sweet"

SARA POV  
"Her name" the words rang in my ears she like girls she flashed bright red and giggled "wait what? 'her' did I hear you right" she went even more red if that was possible "yeah I'm gay well at least I'm pretty sure I am" I start to laugh "ok well that's great..." My tone probably a little higher than in should have been but I was excited "now we can check out girls together" even though she was the only girl I wanted have me eyes on she giggled again she is so adorable I just want to kiss her, I wanted to lightly hold her beautiful very defined jaw line and kiss her soft lips I'm brought out of my trance by Tegan's voice "I'm just so scared I've never even kissed a girl" she sounds so worried "don't be you've kissed guys... So it's the same but heaps better you just do what feels natural and everything will be o..." Before I could finish her lips were pressed against mine I lightly place my hands on her curvy hips that seemed to be a shelf for my hands "I'm sorry... I just... It... Natural... Happened" she stuttered out before she could speak another word I pushed my lips against her again this time passing my tough over her lips she quickly let me in I was in uncharted territory I mean I kissed heaps of girls but it never felt like this, like I was floating through air, I never wanted to taste another thing she was so sweet better than any desert or sweet I have ever tasted. I sighed as both of us unwilling pulling away to breath, she seemed very nervous "what's wrong" I asked hoping it was just because I was her first girl kiss "oh I'm just I don't... Don't you like someone else" I smile and her stupid question "it you silly" the gummy grin spilled over her face I knew she was happy which sent chills to my heart. I can't believe how unreal I feel she kissed me but what did she want from me does she just need me to be a friend or does she want more I know I do. "Would you like to go out with me maybe Friday night like on a date"


	3. Chapter 3

SARA POV  
I looked down and shock my head "I'm sorry I'm taking someone out..." Her face dropped I never though she would smile again with the look she gave me "yeah I'm taking this beautiful curvy brown haired girl with the most gorgeous jaw all I want to do is kiss her beautiful lips and for the first time today I got to" her whole face lit up I didn't want her to take me out I wanted to be in control I wanted to be the one to take her out on our first date. "oh really how do you know she going to want to go on this date with you" now she being cheeky so I give her a smirk and say "because of the way she just kissed me" I stared into her hazel eyes that I was sure I was going to get lost in. "So I'll pick you up at seven" I grin knowing she is going to say yes "wait we share a room where are you going to pick me up from" I laugh she is so cute when she gets all confused "here just trust me ok" it must have been very late we had been talking for hours "can you hold me tonight" I don't say anything I just nod and pull her close to me. I don't think I will ever be able to get over how cute she is.

TEGAN POV  
I woke up in the arms of the girl I so badly wanted to make my girlfriend. Knew she really wanted to be in control, plus I really wouldn't know where to take an amazing girl like that on a date. "Good morning beautiful, did you sleep well" she whispers into my ear. Shivers ran down my spin as I could feel her warm breath on my neck, all I could muster was a nod as I roll over to face the woman of my dreams she was so perfect even with her flaws she was incredible. "Breakfast?" Giving her my gummy smile hoping it would win her over "nope I want you to miss me by the time our date comes" a devilish smile appeared on her face and with in a matter of a minute she was out of bed and in the shower. I wanted to be annoyed I really did but I couldn't she was so mischievous like a little child and I loved the way she teased although I would never admit that to her. She walked out of the shower in boy shorts and a sports bra good god I was going to kill her she knew she was being a tease "not look you perv" she taunts. I roll my eyes a look away "like would want to look" trying to tease back. "I need a shower anyway" I say disappearing into the bathroom "what you need to clean you self up after what you just saw" I knew she was joking around but I did I had to cool off she was getting to me, the pool between my legs was the evidence no one has ever made me that wet I mean I would be embarrassed if anyone knew how hot and bothered she made me.  
SARA POV  
she step out of the shower with the towel warped around her head and wear nothing but a black bra and the smallest boy shorts I'd ever seen all I could was stare at her define abdominal muscles she was the sexiest woman I had ever seen. She let me stare because she knew that was the best way to tease I hated it when I could look but couldn't touch and oh did she know that. I knew it was pay back for telling her to look away because I knew she couldn't. She dried her short brown hair with her blow dryer and blew me an evil kind of kiss and went to class. It sucked that she had class and I didn't, mine didn't start till next Monday so I had seven more days off it will give her time to miss me I really did mean that I wanted her to want to see me I want to make it so much more like a date and not like the many times we had gone out as friends I mean I still wanted that but I just want to add romance. I was going to come back to the dorm late hopefully after she has gone to bed that way it will feel like she hasn't seen or talked to me in days I grin at my idea I'll have to let Tegan know not to worry when I'm not there.

TEGAN POV  
It Friday tomorrow and I haven't seen sara all week I know it's part of her 'I want you to miss me' thing but I really do miss her, I guess I'll see her tomorrow night at seven I can't wait I can't breath to tell you the truth. I know she is going to make the night special I mean look at all the trouble she has gone to just to not see me.


	4. Chapter 4

TEGAN POV  
What do you wear on the first date I mean what does she like to see me in oh she always tells me I look cute when I wear those flower shirts do I button it all the way. What pants jeans black or blue awe this is so hard ok it will be fine breath. I'll have a shower and just get dressed.  
SARA POV  
I hope she likes what I have planed I just want it to be different not the clique dinner and a movie. My brother dropped my car off the other day thankfully. I'm about to knock on the door but my nerves got to me no girl has ever made me feel this way normal I'm so confidant around them. Ok "Tegan are you ready" I call out between knocks I have to be my normal charming self. " yeah" the door flung open she was wearing one of her floral shirts button all the way up with dark blue skinny jeans that hugged her bum nicely I wish I was those jean was all I think about.  
TEGAN POV  
"Come on lest get going" she persist "ok how are we getting there? And where is there?" I quizzed "you'll see" we get to her car how did this get here I was sure her mother dropped her off "hey where did this come from" "Ethan" was all she said oh her brother must have dropped it of he so sweet just like her. She opens the door for me the smell of food invade my nostrils she have made dinner for us she is such an amazing cook well I mean how could she not be her whole family are chefs. She is driving up the cliff side of the mountains we must be having a picnic on the water it's a little cheesy but I don't care it's not where she normally takes girls so I must be special. When she stops it's on the sand hills she places the blanket down and pulls out the food all I could do was stare she was so beautiful she wore mostly black but it looked so sexy on her they way her black skinny jeans held her body and the large black over sized shirt with a white collar, white buttons and white cuffs made her look both sexy and cute. "Well aren't you going to sit" bring out of my daydream "oh yeah I'm ok" I know I'm stuttering I'm just nervous "I know it's not much I just wanted our first date to be different, I wanted to show how much I care" I was going to speak and tell her it's more than romantic and that I know how much she care but I could see she had more to say "the only way I knew who to show you was sharing everything about myself I know you know a lot about me but you've only scratched the surface I want to be a open book for you and only you" I started to cry I could help it I knew she had never open up to anyone at that moment I knew she loved me and I love her to more than I could ever say I know it's only our first real date but it felt like we had been in a committed relationship for years "please don't cry you'll make me cry" her voice cracked out "it's just I'm so happy at this moment and I..." I just kissed her with the all the passion I could muster it was a sweet kiss as I pulled away I gave her my gummy smile I knew she loved as we ate she told me everything how her father had been verbal abusive after her parents split but it was only ever towards her, how when she was about six throughout to the age of seven she was sexual abused and raped by her grandfather and she had never told anyone because he was so loved by her family and she couldn't break her mothers heart. She completely open up to me and I know to anyone else this wouldn't have seem sweet but I knew it was her way to show she cared to be open I just listen to every word she said I wanted to cry for her but I knew if I did she would stop because she would this it to much to take.  
SARA POV  
she just sat there in silence and listened to every word a said I could tell she want to cry. When we finished eating she smiled at me I love her smile it sends chills in to my body. "Your a great cook Sara" "thanks" "I'm sorry you had to grow up like that but I want to make it better" I loved that she want to 'fix me' I know I'm broken but I don't believe that you can fix someone but I think she meant it a way that she would love and care for me "I love you" did she just say that, I know I love to but it's it to early in to be throwing around the L word I just don't think I'm really to put it out there but if I don't she going to think I'm ready to commit to her "Tegan you know I love you but I'm scared that it might be moving to fast" I really did think that I thought that it might have been a bad idea to tell her my whole life "Sara I'm scared to but only because Im scared you'll decide you don't want me and you will find someone else but after all you have told me I feel special and close to someone for the first time since my mum died..." Tears are welling up in both of our eyes "but Sara I'm not so sacred any more I want you more than I've wanted any thing in my whole live" relief wash over me I know I made the right decision "Tegan will you be my girlfriend" "of course I will Sara" the drive home was quite but I had never felt more happy in my life.  
TEGAN POV  
That would have to have been the best date of my life and I wanted to show Sara my appreciation when unlock the door I practically jumped on straddling her waist smashing my lips into hers slowing running my hands up before she flipped us putting her self on top "Tegan stop I want your first time to be special. I want to take it slow with us I need you to know how truly important you are to me" I can't help but smile I know she cares and as much as I want her at this moment and I know she wants me to I understand that I need to let her do this for me "ok can we at least cuddle" giving her my gummy smile hope that will win her over it did she pulled me into kissed me sweetly on the back of my neck.


	5. Chapter 5

SARA POV  
I was kinda nerves today was my first day of class I'm study to be a social worker I wanted to work with who have been abused. I was heaps excited because my best friend Emy was doing the same courses as me so I couldn't wait to tell her all about me and Tegan final being together she loved Tegan pluses she helped me through all the nights I cried because I could get over her. Emy was great we dated for away she was my first when we were like sixteen, but it didn't work be both agreed to just stay really good friends and I'm so happy to say we have. "Hey Sara how have you been" I turn to see Emy "aww not to bad how bout you" she when on about an amazing girl she meet on summer break and how they just spent the whole time fucking each other's brains I rolled my eyes at her description of her lovely break "hey you know Tegan" "yeah you mean the straight girl you never shut up about every time I was at your house" She lightly punched my arm "yeah that one well she's not straight ..." I hear her sequel like excited twelve year at a 1D concert "and she is my girlfriend" I think she was more excited than I was "come on let's get to class before we miss it" I rush her

When I get back to my dorm room I find a sleeping Tegan curled up in a ball on her bed wear boy shorts and my hoodie I guess she was sleepily she did start class at six am, I'd hate to have one of those early morning classes even if it's just every other week. She starts to roll over slowly opening her eyes "hey baby do you want dinner" she sleepily nods "ok take out pizza?" She just smile I'll take that as a yes I just get one large pizza and some chicken drums I know she loves them "I'm just going to pick it ok" she nods as I walk out the door.  
When I get back she has clean our room and picked out one of her movies breakfast club all she has to do is press play she is so cute the way she does little thing like that is her way of saying let's eat food and cuddle "ok just let me change and we'll eat" she still hasn't put any pants on ever since our date she has been the biggest tease but I wanted her to feel like her first time was important to me and not just something to throw away and the only way I can show her that is by waiting. I didn't want her to win though I just put on one of my hoodie and boy shorts. "we looked like twins" she giggled I couldn't help but laugh at how cute she was "well are you going to press play" I really like this movie it's one of my favourites "aww you brought me chicken drums" she give me her gummy smile when all the foods gone she curls up in my lap I love when she does this. When the movies over I flick the tv off. She straddled my waist as we stared into each other's eyes I could read everything she was bearing her soul just by looking at me. "Please Sara I want you I'm ready" she whisper into the air I knew she was but, it was more about me was I ready? before sex was all about releasing the pain from my past or just because that the next step in a 'relationship' but now it really meant something it wasn't just for pleasure it was for a real connection with someone I love I took her lips into mine sucking on her bottom lip getting into a tough war of passion and lust. Flipping us so I was now on top with out separating our lips. It was her first time so I knew she wouldn't last long I knew I had to draw it out as long as I could though. I ran my hands up removing her jumper revealing her black lace bra. I sucked on the pulse point on her neck making sure to leave marks for her to find tomorrow. She began to get impatient she removed my hoodie to find I was not wearing a bra I had to stop my self from giggle at her just starring at my breasts. I reached around unclasping her bra while in a lip lock before laying her on her back.  
TEGAN POV  
She was hovering over me making our nipples touch I could help but let a moan escape my mouth. Sara began to kiss the valley between my breast. Running her tough around my left nipple while palming my right. She looked deep into my eyes as she continued her descent place kisses along my flat stomach. She place a light kiss on my mound sending shivers up my spin before removing my boy shorts although the wetness made it harder. She licked her lips spreading my legs apart she hovered just above my clit looking into my eyes "p-please... Sara ... T-t-take me"  
SARA POV  
She managed to say. I ran my tough over her button while circling her entrance with my fingers "Sara" she wined with that I plunged two fingers deep inside. She moaned and squirms as I pump my two fingers in and out curling them upwards, her hips start to buckle I know she won't last much long I look up at her my thumb replacing my tough her head flung back her hips buckle as she rode out her first orgasm.  
TEGAN POV  
That was the most incredible feeling in the world. She Iicked and sucked every last drop of my wetness as if I was the first and last thing she would ever taste. She return to my mouth making sure I tasted the sweet nectar "Sara can I" she shock her head "no tonight is about you"


End file.
